Much like being a writer, this whole entry is based on my life motto: Fake it until I make it.

 

***Oh, and shit is going to get really real, real quick. Dark humor, bad language, and horrible idiom usage warning ahead.***

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I was the poor little deaf/half deaf girl who couldn't talk right and struggled to read.

I was the new kid at school who was too quiet and a bid weird.
I was the sad kid who didn't have many friends and couldn't speak up for herself against bullies.

I was the troubled kid who grew up way too fucking young because other people felt the need to break me down.

I was the hopeless kid who would never make something of herself because multiple adus decide I wasn't worth their time or effort.

I was the fucking kid who was being abused in silence for years.

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Guess what, I found my goddamn voice.

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Somewhere deep down inside of me, I'm waiting for you all to realize I'm a fraud who somehow tricked you into believing I was good at writing.

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It took me years to learn to try before I quit.

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I hate to break it to you… and me, but we all need to learn how to quit.

Yeah, you heard me right.

Learn. How. To. Quit.

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Bear with me, this is all about to make so much sense it will hurt.

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There are so many things going on in our lives.. insanity of being human, jobs, families, crippling self doubt, lack of support, and a giant heaping plate of just too fucking much shit to deal with.

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Then drop the romance writer pressures on top.

Romance isn't a real genre.

Romance books aren't good books.

Romance books are just written porn.

Romance idealizes love and sex, thus ruining marriages and relationships.

Oh, and if you're an indie author, that doubles the pressure with our favorite - Indie authors aren't real authors.

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You know what I have to say to that? Talk to the hand cuz the face don't care. I'm too busy rolling around in my six-figure royalties this year. Also, I suck at slang, so no judging. Did I mention that I learned language later than normal kids?

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Romance books are a billion dollar industry. That's real money. It blows other genre fiction out of the water. Seems pretty fucking real to me. My stories matter to my readers, to me, to anyone whose bills I pay.

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There are so many facets to juggling a romance author career on top of your regular life that all we hear is: 

you have to…

you must...

you can't succeed unless…

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I'm with you, I've heard it too. Most anyone has heard it regardless of the career choice. Rejection is a community of hurting, pissed off, vengeful people who will succeed out of spite just to show others it's possible.

 

More trigger warnings ahead.

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• You can't be a writer, you've been deafened twice in your life, struggled to learn written and spoken English years after other children. You'll never be able to write anything and make money. It's just a waste of time. I'd be surprised if you even graduate high school.

• You're a childhood sexual assault survivor, you'll never amount to anything. There must be something wrong with you for making those good men do what they did to you. Might as well give up, because you'll never amount to anything, you just corrupt the people around you.

• You're so weird, no one will ever like you. Maybe if you just pretended to be normal, you might be able to make some friends. Or do us a favor and just end it all.

• You're not straight. I don't know where I went wrong raising you, but it must be my fault you're broken. If I'd know you'd be this messed up, I wouldn't have kept you.

• You're a horrible wife, I don't know why I even married you. Maybe if you listened better and did what a good wife should do, I wouldn't have to hit you to make you understand.

• You're so broken. If you'd just stop being depressed and full of anxiety, you'd stop imagining all these fake health conditions you manifested to get attention. There's something wrong with you and you need real mental help.

 

My entire life has been full of people telling me to quit.

And you know what, I did just that. I've quit so many things.

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>I quit letting my hearing loss and language skills invalidate me. Yeah, I might need implants, but I know English fluently, and can hold a conversation in three other languages.

>I've quit letting my abusers and their flying monkeys (it's a well accepted term within support circles) live in my mind rent free. It may have started out as pure spite and stubbornness, but I've systematically cut out every abuser in my life. - Sorry, not sorry family.

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Being the quirky, eclectic person is fucking awesome. And some people honestly believe I might be a vampire because of how much I avoid the sun. Here's to living your best quirky life!

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🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈Yeah, so what if I'm not straight, it just means despite everything I've survived, I have enough room in my heart to love all shapes, sizes, and gender identities. I'd say come to the dark side because they have cookies, but tasting the rainbow is amazing.🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

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Eh, so what. I'm not the horribly cliche wife from the 70's nuclear family. I'm allergic to kids, and I don't have time for men who think they can control women. I walked and never looked back. Hope you enjoyed the divorce if you even know about it you awol POS.

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Assholes are everywhere, even in white coats.

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But more than anything, I have one last thing...

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I've quit letting people steal my dreams of writing.

I started writing for NaNoWriMo, found an amazing writing partner with more inspiration than a single person should ever contain.

Then joined this really amazing romance group who taught me the skills to start the foundation of my dream career.

I published my first book in 2019 and now I'm making six-figures.

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And when I say it's time to quit, I don't mean quit doing the things you want or need… quit the people who are destroying your mental health. Quit racist, hateful people. Quit putting off self care. Quit doing a million things because someone somewhere says you have to when there's no good reason to do it. Except taxes, those are important. Just ask Al Capone and Martha Stewart.

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Please, quit putting off your dreams because your self-esteem says you're not good enough. Because you are.

Change is hard, but it can feel so damn good.

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So, quit living the life of other people's expectations and start living the life you want. It's never too late.

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Join the fucking resistance and live your best goddamn life. 🏳️‍🌈